Ferrous Fellow

iron cat Iron man 3 short-attention span

 

As will come to a surprise to no one who has seen my "Nerd Hut" post, I made sure and saw Iron Man 3 opening weekend.  The fact I actually waited until Sunday afternoon to do so was a slight show of maturity mixed with heavy doses of trepidation.  I mean, the Mandarin?  Didn't they learn from the horrible, awful, rotten crapfest of Spiderman 3 that mixing things like evil emo alien suits into an already perilously believable setting turns your film into satire at best, and, well, Spiderman 3 at worst. 

 

The Mandarin, for those unaware (see also, those who had dates in high school) is Iron Man's arch enemy.  He's vastly diabolical, an expert in martial arts and, of yeah, he has 10 magic rings that each have a different power (freezing, disintegration, mind control, etc.)  Joss Whedon with Steve Spielberg strapped to his back and the ghost of Shakespeare whispering in his ear wouldn't even stand a chance.



Thankfully, the creators of the film eschewed such an idea to embrace and much more filmable premise--How about the bad guy be a fellow scientist, a geek gone wild, tapping into holes in the brain to maximize its potential to dangerous levels.  So, as soon as I heaved a happy and relieved sigh at the lack of magic rings, other things happened, other bizarre things.  Some of which made me yearn for a freeze ray or maybe even an appearance by Fin Fang Foom.

 

Marvel's go-to dragon.  Huge as the Empire State Building (which probably explain the pants--Fin Fang WHOA!!!)

 

Let's start with our villain's visit to the lovely, spunky Pepper Potts, a lust object to him and now, thanks to Extreme Makeover, Evil Loser Edition, she goes into giddy schoolgirl mode as he gives her a close look at his enormous brain hole.  Pepper, please!

 



 

 

And then the movie really started, the film seemed very uninterested in the setup of the plot, but once the action began we obviously had the director's attention.  What followed I can best describe as graffiti on a bullet train.  It is extremely possible that some of the film was fantastic but, for the most part, that train was going by at full-speed giving one no chance to enjoy/love/appreciate/dislike any of it.  Images and words flew by, a few splattering on the windshield of my mind, but most whizzing by like fireflies in a blender.  When the movie did slow down, Tony and the kid, the PTSD angle, brilliant Ben Kingsley, it was quite enjoyable.  The bullet train would slow down just enough for me to jump on and then it would almost instantly fling me right back off.

 

See ET?  That was me through much of the film.

 

I fully understand that people, especially younger people, are getting shorter and shorter attention spans but to pander to that as this level is to be a cause as much as a reflection.  Myself, I enjoy having something overwhelm my senses but it needs to do so for a reason, not just because it can.  It made The Avengers (a far better, smarter film) look like The Color Purple with its frenetic, 1/2-second-shot pace.

Bobby D will always be the ultimate Tony Stark, the role was born for him as it were.  And he doesn't even disappoint a little here.  He is the solid center of all 3 films.  The bit after the credits alone was worth whatever portion of my long-term memory I had to sacrifice to try and keep up with the rest of the film.  And, in the spirit of that, I present my very own after-blog Easter eggs--Iron Cats

Iron Cat

Tabby Stark

 

Thanks to all of you for stopping by.  I do so love all your comments and really appreciate them.



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Ferrous Fellow

4/ 5

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