Saturday, December 28, 2013

Prose and Conflicts


Welcome back!  The subject of conflict has been on my mind the last couple of days.  As someone who values a peaceful life, conflict with no possible benefit is something I avoid as much as possible.

Bienvenido! El tema del conflicto ha estado en mi mente los últimos días. Como alguien que valora una vida pacífica, conflicto con ningún beneficio posible es algo evitar tanto como sea posible.

La paz no es la ausencia de conflicto sino la capacidad de lidiar con eso

Conflict is not without value, however.  When I hurt someone's feelings or annoy them in some way, I would much rather they tell me than for them to keep it buried.  Too often people have lied for too long to me about easily-resolved issues, letting them grow inside until they become big ugly monsters.  I am guilty of that myself so I understand.

Conflicto no es sin valor, sin embargo. Cuando alguien está herido o importune de alguna manera, me parece más bien me dicen que para que ellos mantenerlo enterraron. Demasiado a menudo la gente me has mentido por demasiado tiempo sobre temas resueltos fácilmente, dejarlos crecer dentro hasta que se convierten en grandes monstruos feos. Soy culpable de yo así lo entiendo.

Mi camino, camino

What can make conflict so difficult is maintaining a balance of delivering your message but doing so in a kind, loving manner; because often we are quite upset with the other party in a conflict.  But that is never an excuse to call names or threaten, be cruel.  That is bullying not communicating.

¿Qué puede hacer conflicto tan difícil es mantener un equilibrio de entregar su mensaje pero hacerlo en una clase, de manera amorosa; porque muchas veces somos bastante molesto con la otra parte en un conflicto. Pero eso no es excusa para insultar o amenazar, ser cruel. Es la intimidación no comunicando.


Being a bully is often very effective (which is why so many choose to be one) but consider the above image.  Being a bully is like hammering a screw into wood.  Sure, the screw with go into the wall but you will likely damage both it and the wood in the process, weakening both  This is bullying.

Ser un matón es a menudo muy eficaz (es por eso por lo que muchos optan por uno) pero consideran la imagen de arriba. Ser un matón es como martillar un tornillo en la madera. Claro, el tornillo con ir en la pared pero probablemente dañará tanto y la madera en el proceso, debilitando tanto esto es intimidación.

No serán castigados por tu ira que serán castigados por tu ira

But, when you use a nail instead, and you carefully aim your hammer, a few short taps and in it goes; with a solid hold and perfectly intact.  This is how conflict is to be handled.  Gently, thoughtfully, and with one using the appropriate tools for the job.

Pero, cuando utilizas un clavo en su lugar y apunta cuidadosamente su martillo, un par de toques corto y en va; con un asimiento sólido y perfectamente intacta. Esto es cómo manejarse conflicto. Suavemente, cuidadosamente y con uno usando las herramientas apropiadas para el trabajo.

Ser amable siempre que sea posible. Siempre es posible.

Tool #1 is kindness.  Everyone you meet is dealing with 1000 things you have no idea about:  family, work, relationships, health.  You know, just like you?  How would you want them to approach you with an issue?  Hopefully part of your answer to that involves kindness.

Herramienta uno es bondad. Todo el mundo que conoces está tratando con 1000 cosas no tienes ni idea sobre: familia, trabajo, relaciones, salud. ¿Ya sabes, como tú? ¿Cómo quieres que te acercan con un problema? Espero que parte de su respuesta a esa pregunta implica bondad.

Gato de techo estimado, por favor, concédeme paciencia... ahora!

Tool #2 is patience.  Your issue may not get resolved quickly and out society has taught us to expect everything now now now!!!  Frustration is very likely and patience will be required.

Herramienta 2 es paciencia. Su problema no puede tener resuelto rápidamente y sociedad nos ha enseñado a esperar todo ahora ahora ahora!!! Frustración es muy probable y requerirá paciencia.

Amor en otro

Tool  #3 is love.  The other party in your conflict very unlovable?  Then love yourself enough to keep issues in perspective, to act in a manner that shows class and dignity, to avoid name calling and sarcastic remarks.  Love yourself enough to act like someone filled with love.  Do not use someone else's behavior as your excuse for bad actions and words.  You and you alone are responsible for those choices.  Choose wisely but more importantly choose lovingly.

Herramienta 3 es el amor. ¿La otra parte en el conflicto muy unlovable? Luego amarte a ti mismo lo suficiente para mantener problemas en perspectiva, para actuar de una manera que muestra la clase y dignidad, para evitar observaciones llamando y sarcástico nombre. Amarte a ti mismo lo suficiente para actuar como alguien lleno de amor. No utilice el comportamiento de otra persona como su excusa para malas acciones y palabras. Y usted solo es responsable de esas decisiones. Elegir sabiamente pero más importantemente amorosamente.

Piensa antes de hablar. ¿Es cierto? ¿Ayuda? ¿Es inspirador? ¿Es necesario? ¿Es amable?

One of the songs I have been hearing this season says "let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."  We receive so many chances to nurture peace in our lives, hidden in the disguise of conflicts.

Una de las canciones que he estado escuchando esta temporada dice 'que haya paz en la tierra y que comience conmigo.' Recibimos tantas oportunidades para fomentar la paz en nuestras vidas, ocultado en el disfraz de los conflictos.

Gatos por la paz
My plan for growing peace is to react less, think more, see things from other viewpoints, empathize, and let my comments come from my heart, filtered only by kindness, peace and love.

Mi plan para cultivar la paz es reaccionar menos, pensar más, ver las cosas desde otros puntos de vista, empatía y dejar mis comentarios salen de mi corazón, filtrado sólo por bondad, paz y amor.

Ser valiente ser amable ser cierto

When I do encounter bullies, I do not engage them, I ignore.  It is terribly easy to beat a bully but winning is not the goal.  Just to fight with them gives them power; the fight is what they seek, not the victory.  Let them go their way and you go yours.  Value your own peace, save your kindness for those who will appreciate it, and love yourself enough not to allow abuse to be thrown at you.

Cuando me encuentro con matones, yo no atacarlos, lo ignoro. Es muy fácil vencer a un matón pero ganar no es la meta. Para luchar con ellos, les da poder; la lucha es lo que buscan, no la victoria. Dejarlos seguir su camino y tu vas. Valoran su propia paz, guardar tu bondad para aquellos que se lo agradezco y amarte a ti mismo lo suficiente para no permitir el abuso para que se tiren.

Hippie gato dice paz bro'
The world is in such a vital need of kindness, peace and love.  This blog, fueled by your sweet comments and visits, is a place I feel all three.  And I thank you SO much for that.  Hope your week starts out wonderfully and, in case you get there before me, Happy New Year :)

El mundo está en una necesidad tan vital de bondad, paz y amor. Este blog, impulsado por sus dulces comentarios y visitas, es un lugar que me siento los tres. Y agradezco mucho eso. Espero que tu semana comienza maravillosamente y, en caso llegues antes que yo, feliz año nuevo :)

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Prose and Conflicts
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28 comments

Tulis comments
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December 29, 2013 at 2:03 AM

Great post, very interesting, love it! Wish you a Happy new year <3

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December 29, 2013 at 3:55 AM

a lovely reminder, to be kind and be happy, thank you:)

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December 29, 2013 at 5:39 AM

And happy new year to you too, dear. Thanks for coming by :)

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December 29, 2013 at 5:39 AM

You are always so kind and make me so happy. I like to remind you of that :)

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December 29, 2013 at 5:41 AM

Feliz año nuevo para ti, dulce señora. muchos besos para ti también :)

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December 29, 2013 at 1:49 PM

Felices Fiestas y un gran año nuevo.
Besos

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December 29, 2013 at 8:31 PM

Was this a spontanious combustion of tolerance or did something happen to spur you on? Hmmmmm....either way nhl and happy new year Freddie!

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December 29, 2013 at 8:47 PM

Gracias a tan hermosa dama. Post reciente fue increíble. Muchos besos y abrazos para ti :)

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December 29, 2013 at 8:48 PM

Muy dulce :) Feliz año nuevo y todos mis mejores deseos para ti también besos!

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December 29, 2013 at 8:52 PM

Yes, a recent encounter was the inspiration for this, and the reason I have the comment moderation turned on now. But the thoughts are ones I have formulated over the years, especially during that boot camp of a marriage I was in. All the NHL I have sent your direction and Skip as well. If you see a bright, shiny ball dropping from the sky on NYE, do not try and fetch it Skipper.

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December 29, 2013 at 9:15 PM

This is sweet, I don't know how you manage to be that sweet. I grew up being always the one people come to annoy. Not long ago, someone told me "I they do that to you, it's because you let them". Of course I didn't change from one day to another but now I don't let anybody even try to annoy me. So when I see you recommend patience, I have to admit, my patience was huge before but it almost disappeared.

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December 29, 2013 at 9:27 PM

On the outside, I am eternally patient because I have no desire to create issues, but on the inside I feel it. What I want to do is to try and express that out loud when I get hurt but in the best possible way. The other part of that is the love. Those people who all they want to do is test your patience, know you are worth so much better treatment and deal with them as little as you must. It was so tough for me to put distance between people who showed me some positive attention but also treated me quite poorly at times because I do not get much positive attention. But I have been doing it and I feel so much better. You are wonderful and amazing and anyone who treats you as any less than that needs to be held at arm's length. Thanks for the kind words, lovely one. I will put in a good word with Santa and see about a return trip :)

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December 29, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Thanks that's very kind. I dunno how anybody could be mean to you though. I guess people are sometimes disappointing.

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December 29, 2013 at 10:11 PM

I agree with trying to solve a conflict neutrally. It can only lead to more harm then good.

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December 29, 2013 at 10:20 PM

People get angry about things in their life and take it out on someone they know will take it instead of dealing with the real issue. In my experience, the person they are really mad at most often is themselves. Thank you for that kind observation about me. I make many mistakes but the things I say and do are out of love and never intended to harm. It is wonderful to find people like you that can understand that :)

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December 30, 2013 at 12:04 AM

This is a great post and so so true. You couldn't have picked a better subject to end the year. I
Happy New Year (in case I don't get a chance tomorrow hahaha)
xoxo

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December 30, 2013 at 5:11 AM

hi Shamu have a nice day
thanks for your lovely comment
tr3ndygirl.com
kiss

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December 30, 2013 at 5:17 PM

Happy new year sweety!
Kisses
www.supongoestilo.blogspot.nl

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December 30, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Hi dear!
Nice post, cats are the best thing in he world! Love them!
xoxo

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December 30, 2013 at 9:50 PM

That is for sure. Thanks so much for visiting :)

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December 30, 2013 at 9:52 PM

I am guessing you will be pretty bust NYE. Such a party chick :) Thanks for the sweet words. You have helped make my year very wonderful, dear :) xoxo

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December 30, 2013 at 9:53 PM

You are so welcome and so deserving of the compliments :) Kisses for you too, dear and happy new year :)

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December 30, 2013 at 9:54 PM

Thank you so much, gorgeous :) Happy New Year to you too!

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December 30, 2013 at 9:54 PM

Thank you lovely one! I do find such joy in hanging out with cats. learn much from them too :x) xoxo

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Jo
December 31, 2013 at 11:21 PM

I find myself nodding vigorously to many of the things you say. Good analogy on the hitting of nail hard and gently to deal with conflicts. I think that really drove the nail in. Pun totally unintended.

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January 2, 2014 at 10:32 AM

Clever thing :) So glad you liked it. It is a big subject for me and, as I have actually tried to nail in a screw before, the damage seemed so similar.

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It would be so lovely to hear from you. I promise to respond either here or on your blog.