Part II, as promised.
Where we left off...In the first 27 years of my life, I had exactly one date, my prom. And, after college, I had pretty much given up trying to date.
We rejoin our story at the moment where I am sure many introverts such as myself (as well as psycho, socio and garden paths) will forever cherish as "our one big chance at last." The invention of internet dating. Huzzah! At long last the fear of approaching a woman was shrinky-dinked down to keyboard letter size and rejection, a constant companion to a guy like me who was 1 out of 101 on asking girls out, was buffered by miles of coaxial cable.
Very quickly I was chatting with ladies around my are and in other states. I actually went on dates with 5 of them which was pretty exciting. 3 of them I only saw once or twice but they were memorable encounters to be sure. I noticed a common off-ness about them, like that tic Diane would get on Cheers sometimes only more in an emotional that physical representation. But I couldn't have cared less. I was dating!!!! And then, the coming of the first major female romantic presence in my life...ladies and gentleman, let me introduce you to...Yo-Yo
Yo-Yo was a beautiful, tall nursing student with curly black hair, a slightly tomboyish yet feminine style, and a smile that was both lovely and full of a playful malice all at once. We hit it off fantastically from the get go, spending much of her summer home from college together, scratching the mosquito bites we had so happily obtained lying on a blanket together night after night in the park, semi-watching the sun go down, mostly totally focused on each other. We talked, we made out for hours at a time, literally hours, something I haven't done with anyone since, it just never made sense to stop. And we had the worst time saying good night to one another. It was an amazing few months and then it was back to college for her, an hour and a half away.
Aha, my perceptive reader, you say "this is where it all goes kerflooey" (if you used tacky, overused terms like that but I sincerely hope you don't. I mean c'mon son.) We are almost there, but not quite. For a couple months it was still working, me traveling up to visit her, even spending the night at her apartment once. But the stress of her schooling was grinding on her, overwhelming her, seemingly changing her. I remember the last true happy moment I had with her, we were talking on the phone and she was completely stressed, crying, upset, completely undone. I got in my car and drove right to her. I held her for a while and then she laid her head in my lap as she lay on the couch, me stroking her hair, few words. I could feel the darkness in her escape as she relaxed, let herself be there with me in the moment, let me help her heal. We stayed like that for such a long time but would that I had been able to stay in that moment forever. It was the second time in my life I had been able to help bring peace to someone whose heart was filled with fear and pain and in those times, and in every time it has happened since, I had the strong and wonderful feeling that those sorts of situations are what I was made for.
But, after that, nothing could halt the next steps. It just took her over and shut me out, no matter what I tried, until she finally closed the book on me, via email I suppose appropriately and yet not so. She said things that she knew would drive me away and it worked, and it hurt, bad.
And a few months later, back she came into my life. Sorry for the cruel words, wanting to see me. Still to this day I bear a trait I had on that one, the real and honest belief in the people who come into my life. If I care about you and you hurt me, I am going to make every excuse in the world for you because you would never do it on purpose. And second, third and beyond chances are a given except for the most dire of violations. So, of course, we did get back together, for several more lovely, sweet nights in the park that spring/early summer and then she was gone again. No warning this time, but more cruel words to ensure I would pursue no further.
About a year and 1/2 later, once again, there she was. Wanting to be in my life, just as a friend now. I had spent a lot of that time dating a woman who will not get an entire blogs worth of notice ever tho she was a couple of major milestones for me, codename Psycho. I had just gotten out of that situation when Yo-Yo reappeared. And boy what an odd couple months that was.
Those times together, mostly spent in the bedroom of her apartment, were often difficult and very confusing. She would talk about other guys she was interested in, change clothes in front of me, snuggle with me on her bed and once, during such snuggling, suggested taking it up a big notch but was disappointed when I had no protection. That was something we had never done even when we were dating so it really caught me off guard.
I was rescued from this situation when I found the woman that would be my wife (now ex, next blog.) But, lest you think I grant the name Yo-Yo lightly, last year she appeared again, this time of Facebook, married with 2 kids. We chatted for a while, she wanted to see me, when I passed up the chance to do so she de-friended me and disappeared again.
As much fun as I make of her here-and-there ways, I do owe her so much. Those blanket sunsets, those happy-reminder mosquito bites, the driving here home way too slowly because being apart was so tough for us...those are things I had never experienced and needed to so badly.
So that is The Ballad of Yo-Yo. When next we meet, faithful readers, my married years. Thanks for reading and go enjoy a sunset with somebody you love.
4/ 5Oleh Shamu Boo