Sunday, May 27, 2012

Man I'm Whack, Me!

Today has been one of those too-quiet days where I start to really doubt I will ever have that serious, wonderful, loving relationship I have been looking forward to.

I just can't muster up the energy/gumption/courage to jump back into the dating pool so far.  As my last blog noted, I have had really crappy luck in that area, some of which has left scars that run deeper than I realized at first.

Today I texted Amy1 about going to the movies this afternoon for the 3'ish show and received no response.  Around 3'ish I get a text back that she forgot about it, that the time got away from her and wanted to know what I was doing.  I wrote her that I was computing and that was the last I heard from her.  Keep in mind, this was the second time I had tried to set this up with her.  Being forgotten, which should not come as a surprise to me anymore, was bothersome but I just feel like I am working too hard at something that is just a frienship.  I have to make all the plans and chase her around to get her to actually do anything.  And its always last minute.

So I decided to drive an hour to an old, cool movie theater out in the country to see MIB III which was very well-made, touching and funny.  Big thumbs up.  On the way I called Amy2 to see what she was up to.  Left a message and nothing back.

I cannot possibly imagine why my self confidence is on the ropes with all my super supportive, caring, dedicated friends taking care of me.  After a really long, busy, exhausting week (during which I also had to endure some really crappy friendship) I think I am appreciating my alone time more and more.

Sound so bitter because I am.  Feeling rejected, unloved, unnoticed and unimportant to people I care about.

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Man I'm Whack, Me!
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3 comments

Tulis comments
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May 25, 2013 at 9:58 AM

MAN, you went to the dark side on this one dude! Its always a sign to let go if youre the only one working at it. I havent gotten any further so maybe the Amys redeem themselves. You are a paradox of emotion mind...I know you struggled to come out the other side of this and have so happy ending!

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May 26, 2013 at 6:04 PM

The fact that one of them ends up being known as Shunned Amy should be a bit of a spoiler.

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June 4, 2013 at 3:33 AM

You saying I can read the signs? I forgot you said you had responded...decided to come back...the cat came back... No poodle songs...

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It would be so lovely to hear from you. I promise to respond either here or on your blog.