I just can't muster up the energy/gumption/courage to jump back into the dating pool so far. As my last blog noted, I have had really crappy luck in that area, some of which has left scars that run deeper than I realized at first.
Today I texted Amy1 about going to the movies this afternoon for the 3'ish show and received no response. Around 3'ish I get a text back that she forgot about it, that the time got away from her and wanted to know what I was doing. I wrote her that I was computing and that was the last I heard from her. Keep in mind, this was the second time I had tried to set this up with her. Being forgotten, which should not come as a surprise to me anymore, was bothersome but I just feel like I am working too hard at something that is just a frienship. I have to make all the plans and chase her around to get her to actually do anything. And its always last minute.
So I decided to drive an hour to an old, cool movie theater out in the country to see MIB III which was very well-made, touching and funny. Big thumbs up. On the way I called Amy2 to see what she was up to. Left a message and nothing back.
I cannot possibly imagine why my self confidence is on the ropes with all my super supportive, caring, dedicated friends taking care of me. After a really long, busy, exhausting week (during which I also had to endure some really crappy friendship) I think I am appreciating my alone time more and more.
Sound so bitter because I am. Feeling rejected, unloved, unnoticed and unimportant to people I care about.
Man I'm Whack, Me!
4/ 5Oleh Shamu Boo